Can we just talk about how we take way too many pictures of each other?

This happened today while getting coffee. It happens a lot, especially when there is a table between us. We don't hate it. We might start posting a lot more of these, so we hope you don't hate it. 

With much love (and much coffee),

Maggie, the over documenter

Can we just talk about we couples?

We couples are the absolute worst. What is a we couple, you ask? A we couple, as defined by Webster's dictionary (OK, maybe not Webster's, but it should totally be on Urban Dictionary), as a couple that can't do anything without the other. Literally anything from climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro, to going to the bathroom. EVERY story told starts with "Well, we were..." and anytime one says we (as in "We will totally be there!") there is no question as to who the second part of that 'we' is. We really hate them.

Have you ever tried to have a normal everyday conversation with one or both parts of one?

"Oh hey! How are you?"
"We are doing great! How are you?"
"Oh, I'm good... So... What did you have for lunch?"
"We had a Chickfila! It was awesome! After that we ......"

Blah blah blah. We we we. We are sick of it. Be your own person! Eat lunch by your self! Or at least don't talk about it like you are joined at the hip. You have your own hips. Sharing hips is awkward. Period.

I understand that you are close. I understand that you love each other or think you love each other (here’s looking at you kids of the twitter generation...) but really? Really? I know you think the sun shines out of the others rear end, but it doesn’t. WE would really appreciate it if you decided to be your own people. Do life together. Enjoy that. Stop saying ‘we.’

We really appreciate your cooperation .
Maggie (and SJ)

Well, shit. I promise that we are just besties.

Can we just talk about being in love with awkward fictional characters?

I promise, this is a real thing. Not only is it a thing, it's a widespread problem that our society is advocating. Maggie is freaking obsessed with them. It's like  all of the sudden, we as a culture have decided to make awkward cool. You think I'm joking? Ok, I'll prove it.

Example A: In 1999, society met their first awkward boy in one of my favorite movies of ALL TIME, 10 Things I Hate About You. No, I don't mean the love of my life, Heath Ledger. I would assume we can all agree, Heath is not awkward in any way shape or form. His shape and form are excellent. No, I'm talking about his costar's character: Joseph Gordon-Levit's portrayal of cute little Cameron. Y'all, I'm not talking about Hot Joseph Gordon-Levit that made all of us swoon in 500 Days (another movie with an awkward boy) or Inception (but really, the suits, people!), but pre-hot, pre-famous, pre-smooth Joseph. Cameron is the bumbling, unpopular, new kid who gets love-struck by a popular little princess. From the get-go, we ALL want Cameron, not Joey Donner, to get the girl. Why? Honestly, I think it has way more to do with the fact that we all kind of hate Joey Donner..

Example B: In 2003, the first awkward heartthrob came on the TV scene in a trashy (and I mean that in the most loving way possible) teen show known as The O.C. Seth Cohen. Oh Seth Cohen, how we love you. Seth was the eternal outcast, a pale, comic book reading, Death Cab listening, video gaming dork in a Southern California land of tanned water polo stars and rich and famous lifestyles (cue the Good Charlotte theme song). Seth had a bashful, self-depricating disposition that really shouldn't have been ANY kind of attractive, but no. His sarcastic wit and boyish charms made him the boy of Maggie's dreams. Literally. On top of that, no matter what how many shades of annoying Valley-Girl-Summer-Roberts splashes all over the screen, Seth is forever in love with this one superficial girl. He's faithful. Painfully so, continually prostrating himself at her feet, and she finds him irresistible. The kid has a toy horse that he talks to, but the female population overlooks that because of his humor. What? Maggie is sitting next to me while I type saying things like, "...cause he's adorable!" See my point? This make no sense people!!

Example C: In 2012 a singing awkward boy made became the latest obsession of all of my awkward loving friends (they exist. Why, you ask? I don't understand it either). When Skylar Astin played Jesse in Pitch Perfect, it was all kinds of uncomfortable. He's socially uncomfortable, he's a bit of a puppy dog, and he's completely unapologetic about his awkwardness. Y'all, This boy brings juice pouches and Rocky on a date. He's the boy who sat in the back of your 7th grade band practice and composed his own musical masterpiece on his trumpet for the short film he was working on. But it doesn't matter, he's the guy of Maggie's dreams.

Ok, so now that I've shown you a couple of pictures of the type of men I think America likes to glorify, I would like to let you know why I have
a hard time relating to loving these boys. First of all, I like manly men. I like guys who look like they just walked out of the mountains or got off the back of a horse. I like facial hair. Not annoying ironic hipster mustaches, REAL facial scruff. I like guys who can hold their own in a fight. I like men who have no idea what the latest social media trend is. I love men who drink their coffee black, not because they want to look cool in a coffee shop, but because they don't like to fuss with all the sugar and cream in frilly drinks. I like farm boys and mountain men and guys who watch sports. I like a man who's first instinct is to kiss me, not to deconstruct my outfit (trust me, it happens.). Maggie calls the guys I'm typically attracted to, "Men of the Mountain Persuasion".

Now, I'm not saying my tastes in men is better than other girls, and I'm sure other girls think I'm selling sensitive guys short, but MAN y'all! I just wanna yell, "Dude, grow a backbone! Man UP! Dig deep and find some confidence."

Maybe that's the issue. Maybe it's all about confidence. What happened to all the confident boys? Can we bring some of them back into the teen dramas of today? This girl would be appreciative.

Loving Ryan Atwood, Sir Lancelot, Patrick Verona, Chuck Bass, Aragorn, William Wallace, and Jeremiah Johanson,
SJ--

PS:
In case you still have doubts.....Peeta Mellark, Ron Weasley, Cory Matthews, Tom Hansen, Nick Miller, Ben Wyatt, Marshel Erikson, Peter Parker, Anthony Hall (In general), Chandler Bing, Ross Geller, Steve Carell (also in general), Paulie Bleeker, George McFly, Edward Cullen, Jasper Culler, Jeremy Gilbert, Samwise Gamgee, Luke Danes, Harry Potter, Chris Carrabba, Marvin McFadden, Dave Rygalski, Drew Baylor, Hercules, Jim Hawkins.....

Can we just talk about being best friends?

We have a lot to say on this topic, so we promise more later, but for now, this. 

To finishing each other's sentences, Cheers. 

Maggie and SJ

Can we just talk about Nala?

I mean, holy freaking cow. I know this seems incredibly late since the movie's been out for years on years, but just let me get this out: The Lion King in WONDERFUL. You know, cute little lions cubs running around the Sahara, getting into trouble. Sounds pretty damn fun to me. Aside from the whole getting chased by hyena's bit, I could totally have been a lion cub once...but I digress...

 ...bare with me here people. That cute little lion cub runs away from who he is called to be, and when his lady catches up with him, she's not happy. Nala looks at Simba and basically says, "Dude, you're the king. Quit your whining and MAN UP." And then, he does. Simba stumbles out of that darkness and fear and becomes the kind of King worth remembering; the kind of king that Queens swoon for; the kind of King that leads his people.

So maybe I just elevated my status to Queen, and maybe that's a little ridiculous, but this is my blog post. Get off my back! Boys, if a girl challenges you to step up and lead, it's probably because she thinks you're a BORN LEADER. Period. So stop running and start believing that you are capable of greatness. Nala's firm belief in Simba inspires him to be brave. I want to be Nala when I grow up. Doesn't every girl grow up hoping she can be the lioness that can match a boy's passion in a way that reminds him to get his act together and RUN back to Pride Rock?

So maybe it's a cartoon. Maybe it's about a bunch of animals in some random safari land somewhere, and maybe they sing a lot. Say what you want, I DO NOT CARE. The Lion King is all about redemption and about stepping out in bravery. I will always support bravery. What can I say? I'm a girl who really loves brave boys. And Lions. Sue me. 

Smiling with Pride at the brave Lions of the world,

SJ--

Can we just talk about over tweeting?

Mmhmm. I love being a part of the twitter generation. You know the people I'm talking about. I mean, the "I just worked out. #sosore," or "You know me! Just makin a PB&J!" kind of people. Attention, you twitter people, I DO NOT CARE. I mean, go on with your bad self. Make that sandwich, get yoked (OK, boys, not too yoked. There is such a thing, I promise) but do not tell the world every time it happens. If this is your first sandwich ever, or you had some crazy fear of sandwiches, I would be very happy for you, maybe even happy to read it on twitter, or if you haven't worked out since you were thirteen years old, maybe (just maybe) it deserves a tweet. But YOU, twitter population, are excessive.

SJ often looks at me and says "Only tell stories about the kids you babysit if they are really really good stories." And I will admit that I often am excessive in my story telling, but I only tell people who love me enough to tell me to shut the hell up. I mean, you guys are cool, I guess, but do I love you that much? No. I mean, maybe we can grab coffee if you want, but in a super casual way. If you are a twitter person, I can almost guarantee that we will NEVER be best friends.

Twitter is pretty stinking inspirational. For the sake of full disclosure, I often look at other people's tweets and in my mind shout "Mmhmm. PREACH!" But where you and I differ, tweeters, is that I don't feel the need to retweet everything that "speaks to my sweet little heart." I mean, every once in a while, yeah. Go for it. Maybe someone else needs to hear it just like you, but if I look at my timeline one more time and see a fifteen tweet streak from you (or someone like you), I will proceed to screen shot all of them and send them to my friends, and we will mock you mercilessly.

And to the twitter people who hate on twitter people, who the heck do you think you are (barging in on me and my guitar)? Do you not realize what you are doing? You are making fun of yourself! Saying things like "Stop tweeting everything you do and go outside." TAKE YOUR OWN ADVICE. Put that phone down. Play a board game, do a puzzle, anything mundane enough that you deem unworthy of a 140 character synopsis.

Rant over. Well, as over as it can be for now.
A concerned Twitter user,
Maggie


P.S. Taylor Swift called, you are never EVER getting back together. Like, ever. No matter how much you tweet about it.

Can we just talk about sunscreen?

Ok, sunscreen is the absolute WORST. I mean, sunburn is bad, and I plan on avoiding it if at all possible, but I really hate rubbing or spraying some sort of thick, toxic smelling liquid all over my skin.

The worst part of this whole sunscreening process is that I'm pale. I'm borderline ginger complected. I don't tan, I freckle. After an afternoon in the sun, I don't turn into a bronze bombshell, I revert back to being a twelve year old with a million freckles.

On top of that, if I don't wear at least two solid coats of nasty sunscreen, I get absolutely FRIED. We're talking like completely red. So no matter what, even if I'm never going to have tan skin, I can't just simply not wear sunscreen. I'm forever locked into slathering my freckled skin with a repulsive liquid that makes me smell like a lab rat from a chemical explosion. Yeesh.

Here's to the gingers, (and those of us that might as well be)
SJ--