Can we just talk about over tweeting?

Mmhmm. I love being a part of the twitter generation. You know the people I'm talking about. I mean, the "I just worked out. #sosore," or "You know me! Just makin a PB&J!" kind of people. Attention, you twitter people, I DO NOT CARE. I mean, go on with your bad self. Make that sandwich, get yoked (OK, boys, not too yoked. There is such a thing, I promise) but do not tell the world every time it happens. If this is your first sandwich ever, or you had some crazy fear of sandwiches, I would be very happy for you, maybe even happy to read it on twitter, or if you haven't worked out since you were thirteen years old, maybe (just maybe) it deserves a tweet. But YOU, twitter population, are excessive.

SJ often looks at me and says "Only tell stories about the kids you babysit if they are really really good stories." And I will admit that I often am excessive in my story telling, but I only tell people who love me enough to tell me to shut the hell up. I mean, you guys are cool, I guess, but do I love you that much? No. I mean, maybe we can grab coffee if you want, but in a super casual way. If you are a twitter person, I can almost guarantee that we will NEVER be best friends.

Twitter is pretty stinking inspirational. For the sake of full disclosure, I often look at other people's tweets and in my mind shout "Mmhmm. PREACH!" But where you and I differ, tweeters, is that I don't feel the need to retweet everything that "speaks to my sweet little heart." I mean, every once in a while, yeah. Go for it. Maybe someone else needs to hear it just like you, but if I look at my timeline one more time and see a fifteen tweet streak from you (or someone like you), I will proceed to screen shot all of them and send them to my friends, and we will mock you mercilessly.

And to the twitter people who hate on twitter people, who the heck do you think you are (barging in on me and my guitar)? Do you not realize what you are doing? You are making fun of yourself! Saying things like "Stop tweeting everything you do and go outside." TAKE YOUR OWN ADVICE. Put that phone down. Play a board game, do a puzzle, anything mundane enough that you deem unworthy of a 140 character synopsis.

Rant over. Well, as over as it can be for now.
A concerned Twitter user,
Maggie


P.S. Taylor Swift called, you are never EVER getting back together. Like, ever. No matter how much you tweet about it.